Being Everything To Everyone

Without quite understanding it, I realized yesterday that I was exhausted from trying so hard to be what I thought others were expecting.  I noticed that I was tuning myself to each person and forcing myself to present the ideal version ME--specific to the person I was focused on in that moment.  And I wondered later, "Who am I? Really?" and "Why don't I feel good enough to just be the same person all the time?"

I don't  know if anyone else struggles with this, but there are so many "perfects" that I keep trying to be.  I didn't realize how often I was doing it. And how utterly exhausting it is.

Wife                                                                Mother

 

Social Media Profile                                                             Woman

Party Hostess

Employee/Potential New Hire/Admired Coworker/Mentor/Leader   

Friend

Daughter

Home Owner/Neighbor/Holly Homemaker

EVERYTHING TO EVERYONE

But no one can be all of those.  Most of us can't even be ONE of those.  You can't make everything a priority in life! You've got to pick.  You can't be the patient mother with the perfectly-mannered children, throwing the perfect themed party (with cakes you personally decorated), and also the six-figure corporate success with the 36-24-36 model body, and also the person who organized, cleaned, and dressed up the home all from scratch and garage sale finds that she repurposed following her pinterest boards, and also the envy of all your husband's friends because you meet all of his needs, never nag, and encourage him to have unlimited guy/beer nights; oh and, of course, you are also there for all of your 47 friends when they need you...and all of your profile pictures are perfect...no  matter the angle.

But we try sometimes, don't we?  I'd like to be brave enough this half of the year to post some #reallife photos on my social media sites.  Like "this is my half-finished yard with the weeds taller than me" and "this is my dirty house" and "this is me going for a run because if I stayed home I would scream at my husband and/or both of my children."  Cause that's real.  That's me.  And I'm still pretty awesome. I'm just not perfect.