Read a recent article by He Said, She said's Serge Bielanko. He and his wife recently separated (and then came back together for the better) and he offered some very down-to-earth advice on marriage. Here are his bullet points he recommends you post on your fridge:
*You were in love once. That’s why you got married, dumbass. So you’re probably still in love. Remember that.
*You could have incredibly hot sex with other people if you really wanted to. But, that would ruin everything.
*When questioning your marriage, you should be questioning a lot of other things first.
*Money is more important than some things in a marriage and less important than others. You pick which ones.
*Kids change marriages. A lot. Can you handle that? Say yes, dumbass.
*No one else is married to you. It’s just him or her. That says A LOT.
*There is more true love in a grocery list than in all of the greeting cards ever written.
*Romance is nice. Patience is nicer.
*If you think you could have done better, you are a fool.
*Some marriages are perfect. Yours is not one of them. Deal with it.
*You are writing an incredible love story every time you bite your damn lip.
*There are two kinds of physical beauty, THEN and NOW.
*Marriage is way better if you take turns with the dishes, the trash, and the laundry.
*In the bedroom, just forget you’re even married.
*If one person snores and the other person doesn’t, the person who snores never gets that last little bit of wine.
*When you’re arguing with each other, you’re always half wrong. And that’s that.
*Those kids you made together? You couldn’t have done that without him/her.
*Long periods of confusion mean you’re not saying enough.
*Every time you open your mouth, it ends up in the book of your life.
*He’s so disappointing sometimes. So what? He loves you, stupid.
*She’s so disappointing sometimes. So what? She loves you, stupid.
*There are two minds in your marriage. And two hearts. And two souls. And four eyeballs.
*Little things are bigger than big things. (that one is deep ;)
*Paris is a city in France. Paris In The Springtime is a mindset.
*No one cares more about your marriage more than you two.
*Remember that exact moment when you both just knew it was the real deal. Well, guess what? It’s still happening.
*Nothing is forever unless you want it to be. Isn’t that cool? And powerful?
*There is magic in a messy house. There is no magic in an empty one.
*Love has many stages. All of them are very different.
*Different is quite good.
*The only mistake you’ll ever really make is wondering if you made a mistake.
*Every time you say “I love you,” a baby bird dreams of fat worms.
*When your marriage seems boring, it is you who are boring. Again...deep.
*Living with the person you love can suck sometimes. Put your grown-up pants on.
*People look at you two and they see a single thing. Your marriage is that big of a deal.
*Never forget to always remember. Always remember to never forget.
*At night, even in sleep, you’ve got each others back. Nice one.
*Someday, your kids will talk about you both and smile. Congratulations.
*You’re both poets and janitors and soothsayers and beat cops and emperors and politicians and wizards. No wonder you both get so tired sometimes. AMEN
*You could have incredibly hot sex with other people if you really wanted to. But, that would ruin everything.
*When questioning your marriage, you should be questioning a lot of other things first.
*Money is more important than some things in a marriage and less important than others. You pick which ones.
*Kids change marriages. A lot. Can you handle that? Say yes, dumbass.
*No one else is married to you. It’s just him or her. That says A LOT.
*There is more true love in a grocery list than in all of the greeting cards ever written.
*Romance is nice. Patience is nicer.
*If you think you could have done better, you are a fool.
*Some marriages are perfect. Yours is not one of them. Deal with it.
*You are writing an incredible love story every time you bite your damn lip.
*There are two kinds of physical beauty, THEN and NOW.
*Marriage is way better if you take turns with the dishes, the trash, and the laundry.
*In the bedroom, just forget you’re even married.
*If one person snores and the other person doesn’t, the person who snores never gets that last little bit of wine.
*When you’re arguing with each other, you’re always half wrong. And that’s that.
*Those kids you made together? You couldn’t have done that without him/her.
*Long periods of confusion mean you’re not saying enough.
*Every time you open your mouth, it ends up in the book of your life.
*He’s so disappointing sometimes. So what? He loves you, stupid.
*She’s so disappointing sometimes. So what? She loves you, stupid.
*There are two minds in your marriage. And two hearts. And two souls. And four eyeballs.
*Little things are bigger than big things. (that one is deep ;)
*Paris is a city in France. Paris In The Springtime is a mindset.
*No one cares more about your marriage more than you two.
*Remember that exact moment when you both just knew it was the real deal. Well, guess what? It’s still happening.
*Nothing is forever unless you want it to be. Isn’t that cool? And powerful?
*There is magic in a messy house. There is no magic in an empty one.
*Love has many stages. All of them are very different.
*Different is quite good.
*The only mistake you’ll ever really make is wondering if you made a mistake.
*Every time you say “I love you,” a baby bird dreams of fat worms.
*When your marriage seems boring, it is you who are boring. Again...deep.
*Living with the person you love can suck sometimes. Put your grown-up pants on.
*People look at you two and they see a single thing. Your marriage is that big of a deal.
*Never forget to always remember. Always remember to never forget.
*At night, even in sleep, you’ve got each others back. Nice one.
*Someday, your kids will talk about you both and smile. Congratulations.
*You’re both poets and janitors and soothsayers and beat cops and emperors and politicians and wizards. No wonder you both get so tired sometimes. AMEN
His wife's response might not be as thorough but is still great.
*Stop focusing on the negative!! (or put more positively: Look for the good stuff all the time!)
*Wait a day/night before getting into it (cool down time for both of you)
*Stop comparing who does what how often (a happy partnership means not keeping score)
*It's not worth it (all the little nit-picking has to stop)
*Stick to the subject (every fight you have is not about every fight you've had)
*Do it even when you don't feel like doing it
*Balance the time together and not together.
*Wait a day/night before getting into it (cool down time for both of you)
*Stop comparing who does what how often (a happy partnership means not keeping score)
*It's not worth it (all the little nit-picking has to stop)
*Stick to the subject (every fight you have is not about every fight you've had)
*Do it even when you don't feel like doing it
*Balance the time together and not together.
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